Journey Through Challenges to Spiritual Growth

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where I'm just like I want to be done, like I'm over it, I'm over the drama, I am over the lack of integrity.

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There's just so many different pieces where I'm just, I'm fed up, I'm done.

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And then I would, you know, go to worship band practice on a random weekday, or, you know, go to church on Sunday, and you just feel refreshed and it's like man, I could like live here, like why can't the world be like this, where you're being fed spiritually, you're serving God, and it's like everything just seems to click and everything seems to be right.

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Hey, everybody, it's Tony, and welcome back to the Walk Family Podcast.

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I am bringing you a series titled Seasons of Despair, which focuses on different experiences of life, such as marriage, raising kids and loss of loved ones, and how people navigate those hardships.

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Laura and I bring to the table conversations from our own home, as well as introduce some guests sharing their stories.

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Everybody goes through trials and tribulations in life.

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Sometimes it feels we can't ever escape the pain that that brings.

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James 1, 2, and 3 says consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

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This is easier said than done.

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Despair, by definition, is the loss or absence of hope.

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As a believer in Jesus, there is always that eternal hope we have, but sometimes we don't always feel like it exists.

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It's an incredibly challenging thing when we feel despair in this life, when we think there is no hope and all we experience is hurt and pain.

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My hope and my prayer is that this series will show that you are not alone in your moments of despair.

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So let's talk about what the definition of spiritual dryness is first.

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So I feel like spiritual dryness is when you're in a season and you're going from day to day and your spiritual walk feels mundane and you feel like in your heart, you know God is there and God is unchanging, but you just don't feel close to him and you feel like in your heart you know God is there and God is unchanging, but you just don't feel close to him and you feel like God are you there?

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Do you hear me?

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I'm talking to you.

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Are you listening?

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Are you working?

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In my life right now and just when, those seasons when you feel so far from him, even though know he's right there, I feel like that's spiritual dryness in my life.

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It's where you are pursuing God and there's no response or you see no fruit and you're just kind of left empty, You're left dry.

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In a sense it almost feels legalistic, Like okay, I am doing all of these things and yet God is still not showing up.

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I am walking by faith and yet God is still not showing up, or at least not showing up in the way that you feel he should or that you thought, and so you're kind of left empty.

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And so, by definition, it says a feeling of emptiness or depletion.

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That can occur when someone feels distant from God or lacks spiritual growth.

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It seems to be in my own life.

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When I'm experiencing spiritual dryness, there's probably something else going on.

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Maybe I'm experiencing relational discord, or maybe parenting is really hard and my kids aren't listening and aren't getting along and I'm just feeling worn down.

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Maybe we've had conflict in our marriage and that's wearing me down and it feels like there's always something that correlates with spiritual dryness.

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It's never just like oh, life is great, but I feel really far from God.

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It feels like there's always something that goes along with it.

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Well, I think we can put our circumstances in front of it, right.

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So if our circumstances are not going as how you want, then you can either blame it on God want.

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Then you can either blame it on God, or you feel that God is not doing like a magic genie, like he's not doing his.

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End of the deal.

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Yeah, you want to snap your fingers and have it your way, versus leaning into God's way and God's plan.

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Yeah, Like our circumstances, like an example for that would be, you know, not making enough money, don't have a big enough house, or having issues with your friends or your spouse, or you don't have a spouse and you're wondering like why not?

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And then insecurities can kind of creep in, Other different sins can creep in, but ultimately, like we have to put blame on somebody and God tends to be a fallback, to cast blame when really there's not anything to blame.

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It's just you're in a particular situation where you are not experiencing this spiritual bliss that you thought you should get and ultimately it's a season that is probably a season of trials or hardship.

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And how are you going to persevere or endure.

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That kind of shows your character, but also what steps of faith you're going to take, regardless, because God doesn't promise necessarily worldly blessings.

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Do you feel like there's been a season in your life that you've experienced spiritual dryness?

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I feel spiritual dryness all the time.

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Are you serious?

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I feel like every year it's something.

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Oh, that's not all the time Annually.

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I think everybody can say at least once a year they've had a moment of spiritual dryness.

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Every time I see the snow fall, I see death and doom and gloom, and so there's a place in the world where it doesn't really snow and it's sunny every day.

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We lived there once.

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For real.

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Is that your spiritual?

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Is that your season of spiritual dryness?

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No, oh.

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No, I think it really is circumstantial for me, like this past fall.

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Everything seemed to be going well, we had money in the bank, I was enjoying coaching and it was just like, okay, we had this nice fluid machine and then all of a sudden, the money's gone and soccer's over and it's getting cold and the kids are crazy and a whole bunch of different things are going on and frustration at work.

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It's like, okay, all of these bad things are starting to happen and I'm just kind of falling into this pit of grumpiness or frustration.

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You can call it disappointment, you can call it despair.

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I don't think I'm at that point, but I think there's a level where I do.

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I let the circumstances of my life dictate how I feel, when the reality is that I need to put God first and trust in him, regardless of my feelings and regardless of my circumstances, and I think that's what's leading to my spiritual dryness.

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For me.

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I see those things in your life and it is just about every fall when the weather starts to change that despair and discouragement creep in.

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I like fall.

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I think fall is my favorite season.

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The end of fall, when it starts to turn into winter.

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Yeah, but for me it's more about relational dryness, and when I'm in seasons when I don't have a lot of community or a lot of friends that I'm surrounded myself with, I'm definitely an extrovert versus Tony is very much an introvert and he's happy to be home and in his cozy space and doing the things he loves in quiet and in peace.

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And for me it's like whoa, where did the people go?

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I can't leave the house.

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What do you mean?

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I can't leave the house.

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I have all these kids and we're potty training and, lord, where are you?

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But there's just seasons when the community aspect is missing and all of a sudden I feel the spiritual dryness too, because I think that the community I have there are people that point me towards Christ and they're reminding me.

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I have one, a couple of really good friends that one always asks about prayer how can I pray for you?

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How can I encourage you?

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And another friend always points things back to God's blessings, like, yeah, motherhood is really hard, but I feel so blessed by this.

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It's just pick something and focus is on a blessing.

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So, even though there can be times of spiritual dryness, I think giving thanks and turning things back to the Lord is something that helps get you out of that funk.

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Yeah, absolutely, and I think even like my experience recently.

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You know, I'm working with kids and there are days where and there's a lot of days recently where I'm just like I want to be done, like I'm over it.

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I'm over the drama, I am over the lack of integrity.

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There's just so many different pieces where I'm just I'm fed up, I'm done.

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And then I would go to worship band practice on a random weekday or go to church on Sunday and you just feel refreshed and it's like, man, I could live here.

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Why can't the world be like this, where you're being fed spiritually, you're serving God, and it's like everything just seems to click and everything seems to be right.

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And then you get the thought of man, maybe I should just pursue ministry, maybe I should be a pastor or whatever, and everything will be honky-dory, it'll be great.

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But the truth is that's not the case.

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People that are in ministry go through the same disappointments and spiritual dryness as everybody else.

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Just because I switch a job does not mean that the problems are going to go away.

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Now, if God is leading you to do something different, that's one thing, but for us to kind of throw up our hands and quit because things aren't going right.

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That's something different, but you have to figure that out.

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Everybody has to figure that out for themselves, like, is God truly putting you through a trial that he is calling you to persevere or endure, or is he trying to lead you to do something different?

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And oftentimes it's a fine line.

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It's very difficult to navigate.

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I feel like I'm navigating that right now and there are moments where I'm like, yeah, god's calling me to persevere.

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And then there's moments where I say, yeah, god wants me to get out of Jackson and move somewhere else, and so there's just this really difficult essentially decision that I'm trying to make.

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I think one of the hardest parts is it's not just about me.

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If I was single, with no family, that decision would be much easier to make versus okay, I have a wife and three kids relying upon me and whatever decision I make, that affects them too, more than just on a financial perspective or a job perspective.

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But like relationships, your roots, that you've been laid, that have been laid down, all of it.

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Our attitudes in those seasons so matters, like if you are going through something and you feel like nothing is going right, I don't want to do this anymore.

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Lord, where are you?

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And it can be super easy to kind of spiral down into discontentment.

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And where you, you think the grass is always greener on the other side and you see the blessings there, or what you think are blessings, and you think, oh, my life would be so much better if I was there doing this.

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And all of a sudden you're not leaning on the Lord anymore.

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You are taking things into your own hands and kind of pulling it back into your control, when it's not in your control anyways.

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And then no wonder you feel far away from God.

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You're not even leaning on him anymore, you're not seeking him, you're not going to his word for guidance, you're not praying and asking for wisdom.

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So there's a lot of things that correlate with spiritual dryness.

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And we all like to be in control of our circumstances, of our life, our relationships.

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I know you like to be in control of our life, our relationships.

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I know you like to be in control.

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I know you guys can't see me, but Tony is like staring me down hardcore right now.

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I don't have control issues, I don't know what you're talking about.

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It's a woman problem.

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Whoa, you better watch, I'm just kidding.

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No, I do think there's in our house.

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I don't know if every woman is like this, but in our house I do have control issues where there are things I think, oh, I could do this and I could do it better, or my way is better, or why don't you try it like this?

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Oh yeah, that's probably not going to work.

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And all of a sudden you're beating down your spouse in these ways because you think you can do it better.

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Don't we do the same thing with God sometimes, when it's like, wow, god, you put me here in this place and you want me to do this.

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Well, why not here and I'm going to do this?

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And all of a sudden we start trying to pull that control back.

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But what if God puts you in this place, in this job, in this town, for his glory?

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What if there's somebody that needed to know Christ and you were the one that God wanted to use to tell them?

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Well, I think, going back to the control, thinking that we can do it better than somebody else Pastor Chris talked about that this past week at church, where it's, it's an envy issue.

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When you become hypercritical over people or their decisions, or thinking that you can do whatever it is better, then you're struggling with envy, and that's a sin.

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When you are envious of somebody and you think that you can do something better, so you become hypercritical over every decision that they make.

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It's like, okay, that's an envy problem.

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And so to combat that, what do we do?

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One that I think is huge is just going to the Lord.

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Spend some time in prayer.

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Spend some time journaling Sometimes for me, journaling is prayer Like I write God a love letter.

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You know, god, I am walking through this and maybe it's David style, where you David wrote the Psalms.

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So, thinking like through the book of Psalms, god, I am struggling and and you go through your laments.

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You know this is really hard and I don't like this and I need you to work in this area and I need you to help me see what I'm supposed to be doing and to have peace and contentment in this season.

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But I think taking those things to the Lord is the first step.

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You have to do those things.

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Yeah, I would agree.

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Another step would be confess it.

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Confess it to somebody other than God and yourself.

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Yes, you should confess it to the Lord, but confess it to your wife.

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Whatever this envy problem is, whatever hypercritical attitude that you have, recognize it, which is often difficult to do by yourself, but I think understanding that envy comes from being hypercritical over somebody, and this can be in the workplace, this can be in church, this can be even in your own family.

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Confess it to somebody and work towards overcoming that.

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Allow that person to pray for you, pray with that person as well, and it wouldn't even it's a bold step, but it wouldn't even hurt to perhaps confess it to the person that you are hypercritical over.

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For example, if you are hypercritical over a certain aspect that your wife does, you know your firstborn kid always goes to your spouse and you think it's because of you know X, y and Z, so you overcompensate by doing you know A, b and C, whatever those things are.

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That's not necessarily going to help.

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That's going to actually put a pit between you and your spouse, with your children stuck in the middle, and that's not okay.

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Another example would be you know, in the realm of leadership, whether that's at work or in church.

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If you think, oh yeah, I can get up on stage and preach better, or I could lead worship better, or maybe as an administrator at your job I can manage these people better, find a believer, friend, person from church your spouse and confess it to them.

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So yeah, recognize it, go to the Lord in prayer journal about it and then confess it to somebody.

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I think I would even encourage you to do a step further and not only confess it, but ask for forgiveness.

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Like man, I have been wrong and I have been tearing you down in my heart.

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Will you forgive me?

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And whether I mean they probably don't even know.

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Maybe they do.

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If you're super vocal, they might know that yeah, you've been something, but maybe they don't.

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But that's been in your heart and you need to make it right with them.

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I'd really encourage you to just ask for forgiveness from them too.

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Looking at spiritual dryness from like a botanical perspective, so with plants, like botany.

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So in Matthew 21, 18 through 19, jesus curses the fig tree.

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You know, jesus wakes up, he was hungry.

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He sees this fig tree which had leaves on it.

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It was in full bloom.

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What that means, what that should mean, is that it is ripe for harvest.

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It is producing fruit.

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He shows up, there's no figs on it, there's no fruit, and he curses it and it withers and dies.

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And so when I think of spiritual dryness, I often think of that tree.

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Like you, on the outside might show that you are just filled with the Spirit, or filled with blessing and everything is okay, Everything is right as rain, but the reality is that there is no fruit, there's no fruit to be had, and so there's this level of is the Spirit really working in you?

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And I know we can go back and forth between feeling spiritual dryness and actually experiencing a lack of the Spirit, even as a believer, because as a believer, you have the Holy Spirit.

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Like he is going to produce fruit in you, and everybody produces fruit at the same, at different rates.

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You know some people it takes years, if not decades, to find, you know, victory over a particular sin or have a fruit of the Spirit, and some people it comes a little bit more easier than others.

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But as far as a visual, I often think of that tree where it's like, okay, I am not seeing the fruit, I am not experiencing the fruit, I feel like I am just spiritually dry and God is not showing up.

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But we know that.

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The truth is that the Spirit is going to be in your heart regardless.

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It just might take a little bit of time or you're going through a season where it is really challenging.

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How is God going to produce fruit through?

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That is really kind of the mindset that we should be taking, versus throwing a little pity party taking versus throwing a little pity party.

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I know this sounds weird, but I almost feel like you can fuel the Spirit inside you.

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I know that sounds super weird, so just bear with me for a minute, thinking about spiritual disciplines and knowing that when we have a relationship with Christ, we have been given the Holy Spirit as a seal of our salvation.

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But God also wants us to write His words on our heart, and if we're not in His word and memorizing it, then how are we going to know what he wants us to do?

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So one of the things I think that you can do to fuel quote unquote the Holy Spirit in your life is by memorizing scripture, by picking verses that maybe apply to your season of life or apply with something you're struggling with, and just memorizing them and asking God to work in your heart and to refine you and just to work on those areas of sin in your life and just dwelling in his word.

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And it's like all of these things are good, right, these spiritual disciplines whether that is confessing or meeting the Lord in prayer, memorizing scripture, like all of these things are valuable and all of these things are essential to growing.

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I think the hardest part about spiritual dryness is that so often we just don't feel like it and we have to be aware of that, because when you put your emotions or your feelings as the conductor of your life train, when really it is God's word and him that should be at the front, we can get things backwards and we can kind of downward spiral.

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A huge thing that's going on in American culture and maybe it's around the world too.

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But is what is your truth?

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Instead of focusing on God and His Word and what he says to be true in His Word and knowing that His character is unchanging from before humanity even existed, but instead people are focusing on what I think is true, and I think, when we start to focus on our own truth, it is super easy to get lost and confused, because humans change and our emotions are up and down and our circumstances are up and down, and it's not constant and it's not unchanging, and so we need to have our lives built on a foundation that is unchanging.

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Thank you so much for tuning in to the Walk Family podcast today.

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If you haven't realized already, laura and I are switching the format of our show.

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The primary difference is that we have changed our releases to fit more of a serial format, which means we will be sending out episodes throughout each week for a season.

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Then, once the next season begins, another series will come out.

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Each series will contain around 10 to 12 episodes give or take.

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For the winter season of 2025, seasons of Despair is our series.

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We still release an episode on Tuesdays, but you may see another episode pop up later in the same week as well.

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Also, be sure to hit the little bell to subscribe.

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It gives you each episode instantly once it's published.

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You can always connect with us at our website, thewalkfmcom, and, if you are really interested, a link in the show notes below allows you to sign up for our monthly newsletter.

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Our letter contains updates on the Smith family to stay connected with us, while also providing tips, tricks and challenges we are experiencing.

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If you sign up, you also get a free sneak peek to the first chapter of Prayer and Promises, which is a book that I'm writing and will hopefully be publishing this year.

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Thanks again and be blessed.

Journey Through Challenges to Spiritual Growth

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